Betty Rogers Atkinson, 92, died peacefully in her sleep in her home in Raleigh on February 15. Her health had been declining due to heart failure and related issues that were made worse by her COVID-19 infection in 2020.
Betty, the only child of George and Mary Lee Rogers, was born on April 1, 1929, and grew up in Creedmoor, NC, a small town just north of Raleigh, North Carolina’s capital city. (Creedmoor was once known as the “Mule Capital of the World,” due to its status as the largest mule trading center, something she got a kick out of telling us … pun intended.)
Betty went to Meredith College in Raleigh, where she was a Home Economics major; she served as president of a state-wide organization for Home Ec students during college and kept up with her favorite professors for many years. She loved her time at Meredith and recently attended her 70th class reunion along with two other classmates.
During her time at Meredith, she met Frederick (Fred) Atkinson through the Edenton Street Methodist Church college group. He was an NC State engineering student who had picked back up on his education after serving as a Marine in WWII (he had hoped to be an architect, but the Design School requirements changed while he was at State, requiring more time in school).
They eventually began dating, and despite Fred’s infamous dates with a rival Betty (Betty Ann) along the way, he chose the right Betty and proposed one weekend in Creedmoor.
He graduated in 1950, and she graduated in 1951.
A few months after her graduation, they married (in an un-air-conditioned Baptist church in August) and moved to his hometown, Fayetteville, NC.
She worked as a teacher, and Fred worked as a civil engineer. Before finding their first home, they lived with Fred’s formidable (in a good way) mother, Vera, who ran the Sunset Lodge, a rambling brick house on Ramsey Street that was a “tourist home” for decades. (A classic Vera story: When Fred showed her the engagement ring he bought for Betty, his mother told him the diamond was not large enough and sent him back to the jewelry store.)
Near the end of Betty’s life, as she listened to music from their “courting” days, she recalled the two of them listening to their favorite records as they sat in front of a fire at the Sunset Lodge.
Betty and Fred had three children – Rick, Mark and Viki – close together in the mid-50s and added Carla to the mix in 1964.
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In the early 1960s, Betty and Fred were instrumental in founding the Fayetteville Rose Society; by the time they finished cultivating their own rose garden, they had 75 bushes. She recently looked at an old diagram of an early version of their garden that she had sketched out on grid paper. In her neat script, it showed the names and locations of the many varieties they had so far, as well as the spots where they were growing “test” roses. Toss a name at her from the diagram, and she could describe in minute detail what a particular variety of rose looked like, despite not having a rose garden since the early 70s.
Betty and Fred were also deeply devoted to First Baptist Church in downtown Fayetteville, Fred’s church since childhood. As her kids grew up and became part of the youth group, she opened her home up as a gathering place and often offered incoming youth ministers (often still seminary students) a place to stay when they first came to town to work at First Baptist. Rev. Glen Holt, the minister at First Baptist during much of the family’s time there, meant the world to Betty and was there for her through many tough times.
Betty was also made beautiful clothes for herself as a young woman and later for her daughters (Carla was especially known for choosing complicated prom dress patterns). Betty learned these skills from her mother, and toward the end of her life, Betty recalled a baby dress that she and her mother had been asked to make for a neighbor’s grandchild decades before – down to the material (dimity), style, and details (puff sleeves and blue velvet cuffs). Viki later carried on this tradition, creating Perennials, a clothing design business.
Betty dearly loved music and books, and she often ended her day reading a book.
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It’s tempting to focus on the highlights and good times when looking back at a life, but Betty’s life was also defined by the strength and grace she showed in responding to heart-breaking losses and challenges.
Her first loss was her father George, who died suddenly when she was 6 years old. She had fond memories of visiting him at his general store in downtown Creedmoor, just down the road from their home on Main Street. He died during the Great Depression, which of course made a difficult situation even more challenging, but Betty and her mother were not alone, thanks to neighbors and extended family on both the Rogers and Lloyd sides. She spoke lovingly of the sense of community she felt while growing up.
Fred Atkinson died suddenly of a heart attack in 1972, when he was 48 and she was 43. They had recently celebrated their 21st wedding anniversary. Fred was the love of her life, and she was the love of his. In the weeks before she died, she talked about how they deserved a “do-over” because they didn’t have nearly enough years together – adding that, of course, they had no way of knowing their time would be cut short.
Not long after Fred died, Betty’s close friend Helen Merritt, who had been helping her through her grief, died unexpectedly.
It’s hard to lose a parent, but the Atkinson kids agree that we won the Mom Lottery, and this made all the difference in the world as we navigated the sudden loss of our dad. Betty rose to the huge challenge of being a solo parent to three teenagers and a 7-year-old as well as becoming a full-time caregiver for her mother, Mary Lee Rogers, not long after Fred’s death. (That caregiving role would last nearly two decades, as “Granny Rogers” lived 98 years.) Betty was also a loving and devoted daughter-in-law to Fred’s mother, Vera, as her health declined; Vera died in 1973, less than a year after Fred’s death. Mary Lee Rogers died in 1992.
In recent years, Betty lost her cousin, Bobby Lawrence Newton, to a tragic accident; they had both been “only children” while growing up in Creedmoor, and they were very much like a brother and sister at heart. They remained close, and Bobby Lawrence often visited her when she lived in Virginia Beach, cocktail makings in hand, ready to enjoy the beach parties that the families in the neighborhood threw on summer holidays.
In 2016, Betty faced a huge and heart-breaking loss; at age 59, her daughter, Viki, died of colon cancer less than a year after her diagnosis. Though Betty was 86 and had recently had a hip replacement, she came down to Raleigh from Virginia Beach, moved in and helped care for Viki in the final months of her life. An amazing village of friends rallied around Viki, Betty and Carla as they moved through the ups and downs of that year, and Transitions Hospice was there for us through the last few months of Viki’s life.
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After becoming a single parent after Fred’s death in 1972 and moving her mother in with the family not long after, Betty didn’t have much free time, but she did take on jobs that had flexibility, such as teaching students with medical issues who could not attend school in person and selling Avon via word of mouth, something she enjoyed because of the great friendships she made.
Later in life, she had a blast working as office manager for Kathy Gaines, Paul Dawkins and Harry Shaw in their real estate appraisal business downtown. They had great camaraderie, and the job never felt like work for her.
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The grandchildren she helped raise in many ways, Walker Atkinson and Alexandra Pritchard, were truly the apples of her eye; they brought her so much joy, and she was the best role model for kindness and wearing your heart on your sleeve with your family that any grandchild could have. Late in life, she met her third grandchild, Annabel Lewis, Rick’s daughter, who lives in Colorado. While Betty did not have the time with Annabel that she did with Walker and Alexandra, she was glad for the time they did have.
Betty continued to enjoy the close relationship she had with her former daughter-in-law Susan Vincent Atkinson and their visits in Raleigh.
Through the ups and downs of life, family remained her foundation and joy.
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In addition to her decades in Fayetteville, Betty also spent many happy years in Virginia Beach, where she moved in 1998 to be close to her first grandchild, Walker. She got involved in church activities, joined and took on leadership roles with the local chapter of the National Association of Retired Federal Employees (an organization she benefitted from due to Fred’s federal employment all those years ago), and befriended her neighbors. Betty made many close friends during this new chapter of her life.
She moved back to North Carolina in 2016, taking a balcony apartment in the Abbotswood at Stonehenge community in Raleigh, where she found a warm, welcoming community and became involved with the nondenominational church that met each Sunday.
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Betty will be remembered by her family for many things, including her love and support of her children through thick and thin; her loving, welcoming, caring friendship to so many; her hand-written notes; her talent as a vivid storyteller and as an archivist of family history; her devotion to helping ensure that the annual Lloyd family reunion carried on, even as older generations passed on; and her warmth, humor, and hospitality (she adopted many extra grownup ‘children’ along the way).
Most of all, we are bowled over by the way that she remained positive and upbeat in the face of all of the things that could have left her bitter. She embodied the “glass half-full” perspective.
We are grateful to everyone who made her life richer and happier. Trying to list the 92 years’ worth of close friends and chosen family she cherished would be impossible, but we’re sure that if Betty loved you, you knew it.
We are also deeply thankful to Crystal Johnson, the caregiver who helped Mom with daily tasks over the years as her arthritis ramped up and then brought such tender, loving care in Mom’s final weeks. They became true friends over the years, and Mom loved her.
The team at Transitions Hospice once again made a difficult time far easier with their compassion and gentle guidance, and we are so grateful.
Our family celebrated Mom at a private graveside service at Cross Creek Cemetery on February 18, and we will have a larger celebration of her wonderful life on Saturday, April 2, at 2:00 pm at First Baptist Church in Fayetteville. You can find more details on the April 2 gathering here. For information on how to make a gift in her honor, details are here. If you’d like to leave a note about Mom, we have added a page where you can do that; thank you.
Honoring Betty 